|
|
| |
 |
dimon1833, 21
Belarus, Minskaya Voblasts', Zhodzina |
|
| 1
2 |
 |
yashur, 29
Russian Federation, Moskva, Gorod, Kuz’minki |
|
| |
 |
Irishmicky, 46
Ireland, County Dublin, Dublin |
|
| Next |
|
| Add your profile |
|
|
| |
Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close his casket. |
| |
|
|
| |
An eight year old boy comes home from school and says "Daddy! Daddy!
What is the difference between a pussy and a c*nt?" The dad says, "No, I cant tell you that! You're too young!" The son goes, "NO I'm not daddy!
Please tell me." So the father says alright and takes the boy into the bedroom. When they walk into the room, the boys mother is fast asleep.
So the dad pulls back the covers, and like always, the mother is lying there without any panties on. The father points in between her legs and says, "You see that? That's a pussy!" The son asks, "Oooo! Can I pet it?" The father reply's, "NO! You'll wake up the c*nt!" |
| |
|
|
| |
A mother and daughter are sitting down over afternoon tea. The mother wants to show her daughter that she's a hip parent and tries to get her daughter to open up and talk about dating boys and what it's like for her. Mom: So....now that you have started dating, what's it like getting intimate with young men? Daughter: Oh you know how it is, boys are always insensitive and never care if intimacy isn't working for me. Mom: How? Daughter: Oh, stuff.... Mom: Really now, you can trust me. I think that its important for mothers and daughters to talk about these matters... Daughter: I don't know..... Mom: Now don't forget, I was a teenager once and I can remember what dating boys was like for me, believe I remember Daughter: Really? Mom: Really... Daughter: Ok, for starters, how did you get their cum out of your eyes? |
| |
|
|
| |
Recipe for Banana Bread
Ingredients:
2 Laughing Eyes 2 Loving Arms 2 Well Shaped Legs 2 Firm Milk Containers 1 Fur Lined Mixing Bowl 2 Large Nuts 1 Large Banana
Method:
1. Look into Loving Eyes. 2. Fold in Loving Arms. 3. Spread Well Shaped Legs. 4. Squeeze and massage Milk Containers gently until Fur Lined Mixing Bowl is well greased. Check frequently with middle finger. 5. Add Banana - work in and out until well creamed. 6. Cover with Nuts and sigh with relief.
Cake done when Banana becomes soft. Be sure to wash mixing utensils and don't lick the bowl.
N.B. If cake begins to rise leave town immediately. |
| |
|
|
| |
Mrs. Ogden went to her doctor and said "Please give me a prescription for the Pill." "I don't think you need the Pill at your age." "It relaxes me." "But you know the 'purpose' of the Pill. It's not for relaxing," exclaimed the physician. "I know," said Mrs Ogden, "but my daughter dates, and every morning I drop one in her orange juice. Believe me, I feel more relaxed. |
| |
|
|
| |
A guy is in line at the local Wal-Mart when he notices that a rather hot blond behind him has just smiled "Hello" to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him... and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from... so he says ..."Sorry....do you know me?"
She replies... "I may be mistaken... but I thought you might be the father... of one of my children."
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful. "Holy crap".... he says, "are you that stripper from my bachelor party that I screwed on the pool table in front of all my friends.... while your girlfriend whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my behind?"
"No".... she replies..... "I'm your son's teacher." |
| |
|
|
|
|
|